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Letters from Gaza (18)
...From a meaningless life
to a meaningless death
The sky is still blue as I remember. I haven’t seen it since
three days. I almost forgot how beautiful it looks on a sunny
day in winter. I wish I could walk on the beach and enjoy some
peace.
Three days ago, I moved to the house of my husband's family
with him and our children. We left our beach apartment with the
wonderful view in order to find a more secure place where the
kids cannot hear the loud sounds of explosions and wake up
frightened and crying. I cannot give them any assurances that
tomorrow will be better for them and that they will be save.
They stopped asking us when this going to end and when they can
get back to living their normal lives as children.
The images are always the same, except that this time they
are more violent and evil. We stopped enjoying anything after
the Israeli war against the civilians in Gaza. Neither me nor my
children can stand the sound of the continuous bombing of the
Israeli war machines. It is worse during the night. The children
started to go to bed very early to avoid hearing the sounds of
F-16s dropping bombs. You cannot imagine how scary it is to hear
the whistling of the missiles before they hit. With every hit
you feel that this time you are that targe and you count the
seconds before they hit. All what we can do is to thank Allah
when we all wake up safe the next morning. We will live another
day !
I used to listen to how people talk about hating wars, about
all the pain it leaves in their hearts and souls. War is very
cruel and we. the Palestinian refugees, have witnessed the
cruelty of war more than once. This time, it is the cruelest of
all. There is no mercy, no difference between a child, an old
man or even an innocent, unborn fetus. All are criminals and
deserve to die according to Israel.
I stopped hoping for an end,. My children have stopped
feeling after seeing the photos broadcasted on the news. Childrn,
families - are all the victims of the Israeli hate and
inhumanity. Life became meaningless not only for us but also for
our children. We, therefore, only wait our turn to join the
list, as an additional number, nothing more, but just a number.
Our only wish is to die together as one familyso no one of us
has to live through the bitterness of losing the other.
Najwa Sheikh
6/1/2009
Nusierat Camp, Gaza Strip |
